Well I guess things cant run smooth forever, I have been battling anxiety so bad the last few days. Stopped going out in the daytime, which proves hard because I am working two jobs right now. I have been doing morning and night feedings at the farm and working at Movati Gym when I am not at the farm. I have not been able to sleep or eat. when I eat I feel sick and seems to be one speed bump after another. I feel my self going down old paths,and I don’t like it.
I was doing so good for a few months, went out with people, started rock climbing, was riding more and last Feb started working again after 4 years off. I am tired of feeling like this, tired of having a few good days and then crashing. I don’t even think people really care. feel like I just get in the way of other peoples happiness. Feel so useless, I know people care but my health and anxiety is hard on others too. I hate feeling like a burden but in all honastly I can be at times. I bust my ass working right now but still have no saving or extra money set aside for future me, I just want to be farther in life… but i’m not!