If I Died Today

      Everyday she wakes up gets out of bed, puts on some music as she gets ready for a day she don’t want to start. Does her hair and make up, not that anyone really notices she tried. Gets into the car and drives fast to work, not that she is in a rush to get anywhere. Starts her shift and always has that happy smile on her face. No one knows the true her, no one knows the fear, pain and hurt she feels. HOPELESS,DYING, but no one cares to really step in and help. It’s not like she would let anyone any how. She feels stuck trapped, like she is going no where. Working a low paying dead-end job that pays enough to help her buy her medication, to keep working that dead end shit job. As the time passes she wonders if it is worth it. Knowing people love her jeep her alive, but feeling trapped and lost have killed her light, once shining. She gets hope from work, turns on the Tv and wonders “That the He%$” am I too do now” thinks to hr self “what if I died today” just be done. No matter how much she fights no matter how much she pushes through, she ALWAYS fails and has to start over. when is it time to give up. she sits there looks at the bottle of pills that could so easily end all her pain, all the suffering and struggle. but she gets up and yells “NOT TODAY” 

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Un-Defined Darkness

She never thought the darkness would define her,

she never thought the shadow lurking in the distance was hers.

Her eyes now hiding her jail inside

but her smile does not go away.

She puts her walls up and locks her demons inside, 

hiding the pain that she feels.

The person that is always  smiling,

always cries her self to sleep.

Her demons pull her beneath the earth,

where her dreams can’t speak and demons taunt.

In the morning she will rise with that smile

but her eyes  tell she is dying.

One night she stared at the dark sky above,

she new her time had come.

she walked into sea and drifted below,

no more pain no more sorrow no more fear,

One thing she never knew was,

 Her demons knew how to swim.

Now drifting along in an un-defind darkness .

 

cropped-cropped-img_0135.jpgMoral of the story is you cant run from your fears because they will find you, face them head on.